Multi-tasking in human speech

“When we humans speak, we are not merely communicating information but attempting to make an impression and achieve a goal. And sometimes we are hoping to prevent the listener from noticing what we are not saying, which is often not merely distracting but, we fear, as audible as what we are saying. As a result, dialogue usually contains as much or even more subtext than it does text. More is going on under the surface than on it. One mark of bad written dialogue is that it is only doing one thing, at most, at once.” – Francine Prose, Reading Like a Writer

If I had no other skill than being able to communicate well, that would be enough. All those things going on underneath the surface! It’s head-spinning to someone who doesn’t do it by instinct.

That’s why it’s so hard to teach writing or speech-making or anything else; how can you teach the nuances of subtext? You can’t. After surrounding yourself with examples of the type of work you want to be doing, you just have to do it, and learn from the feedback you’re constantly getting. And remember that everything is feedback, not just the words people say.

What to do when you’re stuck with a blank page

“Sometimes when I was starting a new story and I could not get it going…I would stand and look out over the roofs of Paris and think, ‘Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.’ So finally I would write one true sentence and then go on from there.”

- Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast

In Reading Like a Writer, Francine Prose says that she used to hear this, “and I’ve nodded my head, not wanting to admit that I honestly had no idea what in the world Hemingway was talking about.”

Which is funny to me, because in my Tour de Bliss course on content strategy, we begin writing by asking ourselves each morning, “What is the most true right now?” Several of my students start out just as confused as Prose (and some never figure out exactly what I mean by it, try as I might to explain).

I don’t think I knew that Hemingway asked this question first, unless it was lurking in my subconscious…I’m actually not sure when I first started asking it myself and began using it as a basis for what to write. But I understand what he means. He is talking about experiential truth. Not something that you learned to be true, but something you found to be true.

In the context of fiction, it might be something you witnessed or experienced, physically, spiritually, emotionally…something that resounds delightedly (or horrifyingly) true. This evening, for example, I thought of my late grandmother and how ironic it is that she raised 9 kids on a farm in the valley and couldn’t cook. To this day, my dad is ambivalent about food.

This is the beginning of a fantastic story because it is true. What comes next is the writer’s favorite answer to that honest question. What would family life be like if you had no grocery store around the corner and had to eat through your beloved mama’s terrible way with livestock? How would your dad feel about it, after working as a sharecropper all day? How would he react, and how would each of the children respond, individually and as a group?

In the context of non-fiction, truth is easier to understand, but still people ask — how do you know what is the most true? Or as Hemingway would put it, what is “the truest sentence”? For me, this is always the thing that incites the most passion in me. I feel it because I have experienced it, not like I experience a cup of coffee, but like I experience a shift in perspective. The room gets bigger. I am changed.

In the end, Prose gives up on the idea of sentences being “true” — she says what he really means is that they are beautiful, which is no less hard to define. But I think she’s wrong. A sentence can be true, even if it’s not factually correct. That is what makes the reader go “YES!” Truth is common more often than it isn’t…that’s what keeps me writing. And that’s why it’s the best place I know to begin.

The benefits of reading out loud

“A poet once told me that he was reading a draft of a new poem aloud to himself when a thief broke into his Manhattan loft. Instantly surmising that he had entered the dwelling of a madman, the thief turned and ran without taking anything, and without harming the poet. So it may be that reading your work aloud will not only improve its quality but save your life in the process.”

– Francine Prose, Reading Like a Writer

It seems that my habit of reading out loud (with theatrics!) may be doing me some good after all.

We do ourselves a disservice

“Part of a reader’s job is to find out why certain writers endure…You will do yourself a disservice if you confine your reading to the rising star whose six-figure, two-book contract might seem to indicate where your own work should be heading. I’m not saying you shouldn’t read such writers, some of whom are excellent and deserving of celebrity. I’m only pointing out that they represent the dot at the end of a long, glorious, complex sentence in which literature has been written.”

- Francine Prose, Reading Like a Writer

This is part of every creative person’s job — not to base our work on that of the latest superstar, but to find the work that has endured over time, and pay close attention.

How to be great…quickly

We learn by being taught, but we gain true, gut-level understanding when we keep swallowing up worthy examples of a job well done. I become a great writer by reading the words of great writers. I become a great designer by surrounding myself with the work of great designers.

It’s a slow, gradual process, but it doesn’t have to be. The way I learn things quickly (which is the fun part of building nations in fields I’m not as familiar with) is by not only surrounding myself with the best examples I can find, but by noticing the details and imagining the decisions that went into making them. Not by criticizing them, analyzing them, or trying to replicate them, but by paying close attention.

“I’ve always thought that a close-reading course should at least be a companion, if not an alternative, to the writing workshop. Though it also doles out praise, the workshop most often focuses on what a writer has done wrong, what needs to be fixed, cut, or augmented. Whereas reading a masterpiece can inspire us by showing us how a writer does something brilliantly.”

– Francine Prose, Reading Like a Writer

Our fragmentary culture

“Our generation is prone to amuse itself with fragmentary information and resources. We flip on the TV for brief programs, and then we think we know about the subjects they dealt with. A few paragraphs in a magazine and we think we’ve formed an opinion. What is happening so often is that we are merely forming a habit of amusing our interests and then forgetting the fragments. This is not education.”

- Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, For the Children’s Sake

This was printed pre-Twitter, in 1984.

For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

“Look well at the child on your knee. In whatever condition you find him, look with reverence. We can only love and serve him and be his friend. We cannot own him. He is not ours.

Neither would it be fit to use the fact that he is dependent on us to brainwash him into thinking any arbitrary thought or perform any arbitrary act that we may deem useful. We should not plan his life for him, so that he is being prepared for some great purpose — even if the purpose we intend is a worthy one in our eyes.”

– Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, For the Children’s Sake

In our first year of homeschooling, we’ve been struggling to balance a child-led approach with one that dips the children’s toes into many different fascinating things that they might not choose for themselves. I’m finding myself using more and more of Charlotte Mason’s approach, which seems to allow for both. Copious amounts of unstructured play combined with short, impactful, interesting lessons.

Apparently, this book I’m reading is the one that re-introduced Charlotte Mason’s philosophy to a whole new generation of parents and educators. I’m excited to dig in.

The Tender Heart by Joseph Nowinski

“Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt — a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.”

- Joseph Nowinski, The Tender Heart: Conquering your insecurity

I’ve added a new project to my field notes categories — raising my limits. As much as I know about business and marketing and the state of the web, my own self is the thing that most often stands in the way of the things I personally want to do in the world.

As I’m reading about self-doubt and what it actually is (insecurity), I see so much of it in my life that I never noticed before. Ironically, it’s mainly around productivity. I have a terrible fear of being lazy. It’s also around making personal commitments that I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep. Oh, and my house. I’m scared of my house being terribly messy and people finding out about it.

(I heard today is bring your neuroses to work day. Didn’t you know?)