Guest Column: The Red River Cometh

Red River Shootout

By MoMo
Style and Culture Writer, Blatant Homerism

This year’s OU-Texas game has fans and beat writers perplexed as to which teams will show up to fight for the Golden Sombrero.

Elaine wearing the Urban Sombrero(Personally, I wouldn’t be caught dead in a sombrero unless it was an urban sombrero.)

The Texas Longhorns (3-1) are coming off a humiliating loss at home to UCLA where the Longhorns could not seem to stop UCLA’s ground attack. The Oklahoma Sooners (4-0) have their own issues, as they continue to struggle with sustaining pressure on the opposing offense and tackling at the line of scrimmage. Both teams have showed glimpses of greatness during the first 4 weeks, but the overall performances of both teams have people asking “WTF?” instead of “LOL’ing” “ROTFLMAO.”

The Sooners come into the game averaging 36 points per game. Ryan Broyles has been OU’s go to offensive weapon.

The Longhorns have not been impressive on the offensive side of the ball, and their defensive line has been considerably down this year. But their defensive backs kept pass-happy Texas Tech in check for four quarters, so this should make for an interesting matchup.

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OU has a limited running game, and the Sooners’ makeshift offensive line seems to be more of a committee than a core starting five. Look for OU to make its impact through the air early and often, while Texas blitzes Landry Jones like Heidi Pratt goes after silicone. This should give Jones an opportunity to get his receivers in one-on-one situations that should test the Texas the defensive secondary.

The Longhorns do not have any luxury weapons on offense. The running and passing games seem lost.

PradaIn fact, Texas’ offense resembles the 2009 Prada mens casual shoe line. You would expect it to be the top of the line, year in and year out. Yet when it’s put to the test, you’re like, “WTF OMFG.”

It pales in comparisons to what put the ‘Horns on the map as a tier-one brand. (At this point, I have no idea if I am talking about mens footwear or football).

This year, Bob Stoops is Burberry. Mack Brown is Payless.

OMG – STOOOOOOPPPPPSSSSSSSS!

Sooners 38, ‘Horns 14.

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