Love
Bigger than any wave. More powerful than fear. Love is like an ocean. Impermanent as a wave rising. Every time I paddle out I remember my father’s drowning and I face fear. As energy surges through the water I find the rhythm of the ocean as I meditate on my surf board. I look toward the horizon, seeking a perfect set. Patience is required when waiting to catch a wave just as it is to find the perfect person to compliment your life. Learn to love the paddle. Pause in moments of difficulty because pleasure never lasts long enough. Enjoy what you are doing right now, and if you don’t change it.
I’ve been working hard to love myself so that others may love me. I’ve been searching to find freedom and love for the water after my fathers tragedy but initially it started on land. I ate my way through Italy, biked off the carbs in Croatia and came to Nicaragua for my yoga teacher training to pray and to heal my heart. A heart broken by love and from the loss of my father. I needed freedom to release the pain. Necessary. My own personal Eat, Pray, Love mission. But I had replaced the “Love” portion with biking around Croatia. After all, I don’t look like Julia Roberts, and for the record I had planned my trip prior to the movie coming out! At that time my heart was broken and I wasn’t interested in love so it became obsolete. Eat, “Bike,” Pray. Little did I know that love was going to bring this journey around full circle and would be a crucial ingredient to finding Santosha (contentment).
If you are one of my faithful blog readers you may remember I once said, “whats love got to do with this anyway?!” Well, it has a lot to do with it and I finally understand its place in my story that you have all been following. *sigh.* Love. A word most people are not comfortable with including me.
Love comes in all different forms. It’s as vast as the ocean and as unpredictable as the waves at a beach break during onshore winds but one thing that is certain is that I have found love. Love for myself and for every one of our universal family members. I’m connected. I have given myself the freedom to face my fears and follow my heart. I wasn’t seeking love, I was seeking Santosha (contentment) and I found it through love and compassion for myself.
I still remember crying on my mat in Will Blunderfield’s yoga class on a Saturday fifteen months ago dreading the corporate bullshit that I would have to return to on Monday. Will’s message that day was about finding your life’s passion and purpose and loving one self as a necessity in your motivation to discovering it. His words were the initial spark that kick started my journey to discovering my purpose. Little did I know that loving my self was the only way I was going to get there. At the time I was not focused on love but I realized that it was entirely up to me, to pick my self up off my mat and make my own life better. After all, no one was going to do it for me, not even Will. We are put in the center of our lives to take charge of it.
I’ve learned through risk to adapt, to discover, to know, to learn, to grow, to inhale, to let go and to love. One must risk in order to find yourself, to love yourself. Love is like surfing. If you get caught in the impact zone you need to get right back up because you never know what’s coming. Rather than seeking out someone to love you try to cultivate compassion, kindness and forgiveness for yourself and our personal love will meld into the realm of unconditional love that others will be attracted to.
Education may not make you wise. Success may not make you giving. Poverty may not make you humble and being wealthy may not make you rich. But love can teach you everything. The purpose of life is to discover your gift and then give it – then surf the waves of karma.
Sep 02, 2011 @ 06:06:59
Love it! Love it! that is exactly what I needed to read at this very moment. YOu are a gifted writer. That is your gift and keep doing it. I am inspired.