I Came With 40 Books…and Left With 40 Books

My book signing at Borders on Saturday was enlightening. I learned several valuable lessons…

• Bring your own pen. I spent $6.40 to buy a pen from Borders so I could sign books.
• Expect company. There were three other book signings happening at the same time, all from self-published local authors. One guy, who helps people learn how to fish better, does book signings about six times a month at this store. Seems like maybe he should be sitting in a boat somewhere.
• Bring your own books. I was told that Borders would be ordering books for me to sign, but alas, they didn’t have one copy in the store. I brought a box for just such an occasion.
• Expect weirdos. One guy approached me with a bottle of "cream soda" in his hand. At least, that’s what the bottle said, but not what his breath said. He walked up to the table, picked up the book, set it down, then said, "Pop!" as he gestured his hands like fireworks. I said, "Excuse me?" And he did it again.
• Friends are awesome. A few people came to say "hi" just because they knew I would otherwise be completely alone. Thanks to all three of you!
• Don’t leave early. After nearly two hours of talking to three friends and one drunk, I packed up and left ten minutes early…which was about five minutes before Tony Morgan came by to mourn with me.
• Make the best of it. I met Andrew and Ryan, the store managers at Borders…and they were both awesome. I also talked to the drunk again later, and clarified which parts of you go to Heaven when you die.