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Diana vs Household

Don’t call me suzie-homemaker or housewifey. Especially Domesticated Diva. The only things that are domesticated are dogs. I never thought I would be a married homemaker or married or a homemaker. I came from a home where tradition of the American housewife was unheard of. My mother was a career woman with business meetings, social brunches and charities to plan. She was a rebel in her own culture and I was proud to follow suit.

Diana vs Household 1

After a few bad breakups, and of having an independent spirit, I never believed I would be a wife. Not just a partner in marriage, but have completely different lifestyle.  I really wish I would have taken that Home Economics class in HS, but maybe it would have confirmed that I can’t cook, I can’t clean. The biggest challenge in my life is not finding the meaning of life,  but learning to multitask the cooking and cleaning.

Diana vs Household 5

No, I’m not stupid, you’d think a college educated woman would know how to pick up a sponge or two and scrub away. No, dear readers. This lifestyle, even after two years, is like learning a new language.
I didn’t expect my life to be planned out as this.

Diana vs Household 4

I have worked since I was 13, lived on my own, traveled on my own, paid my own education and rent, yet I don’t know how I ended up asking my husband if I could shop. Actually, I don’t even know how I ended up with a husband. Ten years ago I was planning my life on my own accord, and the words husband and marriage were not in my vocabulary, not even in my future.

Diana vs household 2

Please, I’m not complaining of the way I live. It sounds like a wife complaining of having the luxury to work from home and have a husband take care of me  It may read as a glamorous and privileged, but it’s far from. I love my life, marriage and my husband but I was thrown into this way of living, and not expected the resentments, fears, anger, and joys all at once. It feels like something as simple as a light switch, it was so sudden. I have no idea how I ended up with responsibility so foreign, my own mother could barely help me out, and it was Martha Stewart to the rescue.

As much as I love the idea that I can fit a stereotype devoted to watching Oprah and eating chocolates all day, I’m a little disturbed that I can fit a stereotype devoted to watching Oprah and eating chocolates all day. Of course I don’t sit at home and clip coupons, but with complete solitude, and a mindset of a modern age, it’s difficult to grasp the idea that I am considered a dying traditional way of living for women. Someone out there must know how I feel, right? *crickets??*

And so begins a new-sometimes-regularly-irregular series called, for lack of a better word or phrase, Diana vs The Household, a blog series documenting my trials, and virtues about my life and the unexpected detour of becoming suzie-homemaker. I’ll be looking forward to sharing, and your encouraging commentary is always welcome to help my adventure.



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59 Responses to Diana vs Household

  • biscuit says:

    I have definitely never been where you are, and I don't understand what you are going through. I would love to read more about your life though, so I'm quite excited about this.It's not like I have to say it, the rest of the world already chimes in, you are awesome.

  • Rhianne says:

    I'm looking forward to reading this! I know how you feel about feeling 'domestic', when I left uni I didn't expect to settle into a cute little house, where I happily(!) worked 9-5 in an office and then got excited when it was sunny at the weekend because now I can hang the washing out and properly clean out the house…

  • Ursuli says:

    I love your idea. I often wonder the same thing. I've been married 2 years and never imagined I would be a wife at my age, but here I am and loving it too. Looking forward to your other pictures on this topic. xx

  • stina honey says:

    Diana, seriously, this is making me cry.I am in the same boat as you and I feel so overwhelmed. I was actually thinking of what I could do to get out all my thoughts, even thinking about making a zine or something because I am so lost and feel so alone. My husband is there for me, but you know what I mean.I am so grateful to be home all day, I am. When you would hear people talk about how hard it is to be a housewife, I always thought, "yeah i can imagine", but until youre there, you have no idea.There is always something that needs to be done. Most people work 8 hours a day, but a housewife is 24 hours. My biggest fear is trying to fit a baby into this, when the time comes.I have so much to say!!!I am really glad you are doing this.

  • This is awesome and definitely represents so many women.I keep our house moderately clean but hate scrubbing floors and dusting. My husband and i went back and forth and now we have a part time maid that does the aforementioned cleaning I don't do. It gives me mixed feelings (should I done it myself but if I do all the cleaning, am I just the stereotypical housewife?) but at least the floors got done.

  • sonya says:

    Oh, Diana. I'm completely domestically-challeneged. I loathe folding laundry and right now I have a sink of dishes I need to do. Yet I'm typing this comment to you. :) I'm really looking forward to this mini-series, because sometimes it's nice to know that you aren't the only one struggling with something you feel should come naturally. I was a homemaker for a few years, and ultimately, I had to take charge of my sanity and hit the books. I was so grateful for the opportunity that I /could/ stay home with my girls for awhile, but it just wasn't right for my personality. You gotta take care of you, love, in whatever works for you. Just know there is no right way to do anything. Everyone is just adapting and overcoming in their own little ways. Wishing you all the best on this journey. <33 xo. s.

  • diana! i could write you a whole novella in answering to this post! i feel very similar to you in a few ways! P and i have been married for over 3 years, but i still bank on the fact that i never imagined myself "settled down." we are expecting our first child, and i never pictured myself as someone's mom! but- to be completely honest i always wanted it, but i was never so sure that it was right for me, or that it would happen! i lived with my dad for a good chunk of my childhood/teenage years, and even though he kept the house running as smoothly as a single guy with 2 daughters could, that "woman's touch" was for sure missing in my home. now i have to admit that P is the authority on interior decorating, organizing etc. etc. in our home! (last year- before my "office" turned into the soon to be nursery) his office looked like a tidy work space where he could actually write a paper or listen to a record, mine looked like a shoe store had been bombed with my closet overflowing. all in all we both chip in and i can vacuum, do the dishes and cook- but do i? ahhhh. anyway, what i am trying to say is that i am pumped about this series! and and and!!are "we" a dying breed? you might think so- but then when you get out of the city a bit, and when you talk to women who are not college educated, you might think no, there are still so many stay at home moms, and homemakers around. we have morphed (thank god!) into having our own jobs and interests and even lives not rotating around but separate of our husbands, but there is still a lot to be said about how much things change and how much they stay the same.

  • Fritzi Marie says:

    Pretty Lady, I so hear you. I spent my 20's dating, studying Anthropology and Art History, working on my masters, having fun, and learing about myself. I got married at age 30 and the very next day my husband found out that he got funding for his PhD at a school in Mississippi. I'm from Southern California and I thought I would be moving with my new husband to Seattle! I was rushed off to Mississippi and left sitting at home trying to figure out what to do with myself. It is a very strange place to be. Filled with so many mixed emotions. I'm four years into it and still learning. Oh, and I've uprooted myself twice since the move to Mississippi. First to Seattle and now we're in Alabama. I'm sharing too much. I love that you are doing this series. It is so very brave of you.love love,Fritzi Marie

  • She is Sara says:

    I am very excited about this because, I feel the same way you do in most aspects. I love organizing, but actual cleaning? My solution is to clean everything with hot water and bleach because that was what I was told to do at Mc Donalds. The first meal I made for my boyfriend was instant mashed potatoes and ramen. :( I really adore all the pictures, and I want to go buy red shoes and pink tights now…I love this new series that you are going to start :) :)

  • Fabulous series, I bet it's going to be a good one!

  • amylou says:

    Sounds like a great series! Can't wait to see more! =)

  • Jamie says:

    I love this post. One of the hardest things for me as a wife and mother has been just being me and not trying to be something that I'm not. My (ex)closest friends were the type to get up early and cook their husband breakfast at 5am before he leaves for work and have dinner ready when he got home…classic meat, potatoes and vegetable. I tried it in my first marriage. Needless to say, it didn't work. ha! I'm not the type. If you want breakfast at 5am, get it yourself dude. I'm sleeping. I have a sign in my kitchen that says "I know how to cook. I just don't." Of course it's meant in humor and I'm doing much better but you just gotta do what you want and not worry about what you're "supposed" to be doing. Be you! We all love you for it! :)

  • Mandy Bryant says:

    I don't quite relate to my 'housewife' status, either, and I feel that my minivan says nothing about me as a person. I'd rather be driving and listening to The Clash in some adorable little foreign car, but what can you do? You listen to The Clash in your not-so-rad minivan:) Super excited to hear all about your domestic escapades! Good luck!

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  • I know how you feel, to an extent. I tell Zak that he needs to become a physicist or an engineer, so that I can be a housewife. If that were to happen, he would probably still cook and clean most of the time. I mean, I help out, but he carries his weight and then some.Take Care,ValerieP.S. I love you doing laundry is some red heels!http://oldfashionallies.blogspot.com

  • Amyschmamey says:

    Very excited about this. I have my own frustrations with keeping up a household and the struggles of marriage, working at home, and taking care of young children. It will be so neat to real about your adventures :)

  • Liz says:

    I LOVE this Diana. These photos depict you so perfectly and even though this may not have been what you originally envisioned for yourself, I'm glad you have made it work for YOU and your marriage with Scott. You are a bad ass wife and not some cookie cutter June Cleaver. You are awesome<3

  • Ashley says:

    Ahh! I don't think I have ever been so excited about a blog series.I am kind of the opposite- I always thought I would be the housewife, but my husband keeps finding more classes to take at college. With our household depending on my salary, I have become the business woman.I feel like I'm a stranger to myself (Oh, Lord. I better stop now before I share too much of the bizarre thoughts pinging around my head)- to sum up- I am looking forward to reading about your journey and I love the pictures accompanying this post.<3

  • Syed says:

    I love that second photograph. And I've always thought that the best things in life are the unplanned turns that you end up loving.

  • aDeLiNe says:

    Seriously Diana you keep on blowing my mind. It took me ten minutes thinking of the best way to tell you how I feel. I said it before: I think you're super brave to talk about that kind of personal matters but I also think that the photos are BRILLIANT. They're beautiful but they also say so much. I'm far from being in the same situation as you but I can understand how puzzling it can be. Ever since we got in touch, I've never stopped thinking you were one of my favourite bloggers but you keep on reminding why but constantly amazing me. Proud to know you!xxx

  • carly says:

    i'm not married. but d.i totally get where you're coming from.it's weird. i can't cook. i can't clean and i try my hardest when i have to. but j ends up going over what i did anyways. haha.i am looking forward to reading more!

  • Mandy says:

    I think you'll have an original and unique take on this topic, and I really look forward to reading more. I think, if I was in your position, I'd be frightened and excited all at once. Best wishes, for sure.<3,M

  • Sarah Kinsey says:

    I am excited to read Diana VS The Household. I can clean and take care of kids and what have you. But unlike the rest of the my family- I want a career and I want to move out as soon as I can. I want to live by my own wage. I'm pretty independent. And I like that. But one day I might end up getting married… I can't imagine what that's gonna be like.

  • Irene says:

    honestly, working at home is the hardest job i've ever had. i can't wait to read more diana <3

  • alexkeller says:

    i can cook, sort of – i'd rather bake.i can clean and do laundry and all that stuff.but i'd rather be doing something else.i figured i'd eventually get married – maybe.but be a mother? whooooaaaa. hold on there. never in a million years thought that would happen.i say to you and all the commentors – get a maid service to come in once a month.because who said all girls were supposed to be good at this stuff, anyway?

  • Lauren says:

    I love you so much. I always knew I would get married, be a mom and take care of our home. I never had a problem with this plan…but now I wish I had been more adventurous. I wish I had moved out before I got married…maybe had seen the world a little bit more. Don't get me wrong, I love experiencing life with Ted, but sometimes I wish I had bigger dreams! A career plan. Living in the big city. Things like that.So, I get what you are saying :)

  • Kamika says:

    Diana Vs The Household, great theme idea for posts! Looking forward to reading them and your not alone….sometimes I worry they will try and take my feminist license away from me. When I was working on a specialized honor in Women Studies the life I have now was not what I thought I would live. But I do, and I love it

  • off switch says:

    i'm very excited for this series and loved your photos!

  • stephanie says:

    i'm really looking forward to hearing more about this. i just recently got married and am feeling a pull between being a "traditional" wife and something else. hard to explain. but, i'm also extremely happy with my husband too.

  • It took guts to post this, and I admire you so so much for doing it. Especially because I can relate… oh, can I relate. Even though I'm not married yet and still live at home, I get the chills (and not in a good way) when I think about my future. My very own Me Vs. the Household future. I look forward to reading more of this series! Great pictures, too, by the way.

  • Idle Wife says:

    I am completely in the same boat as you. I've been at this "homemaker" job for almost 2 years now and I still go back and forth between being super happy I don't have to get up and go to a job every day and feeling like I'm either wasting time or doing nothing or not doing enough. I don't know if you feel like sometimes we at home women are judged because we're at home, but I feel that a lot. Especially when I get asked what I "do" and then the pressure is even more when they confirm we still don't have any kids. As if there's no reason for me to stay at home without them. It's so nice to hear from other women who are in the same position. I can't wait to read more of these posts!

  • Ashlee says:

    Words cannot express how excited I am for this new series. And the photos = perfection.

  • Elle Sees says:

    i can't cook. i try, but i disgrace my italian family.

  • lydia. says:

    Girl, I totally hear you on this. Right now, all am I doing is being "the housewife."I don't have any sort of job, and I won't for awhile.I mean, I'll start school in about two months, but still…I am relying solely on my husband.I feel so awkward asking for things that I want/need.And I hate that I can't just do it myself.I miss the feeling of independence at times…Not that I don't want the life that I have…I just want to feel like I have my own place in it.

  • katrina says:

    You're brilliant! I enjoyed reading this pilot post so much, I'm really looking forward to the next. Brava!!

  • ana b. says:

    This is a fantastically written blogpost, Diana. It's a frustrating and frankly, perverse state of affairs for feminism and women in general when a woman who has made a choice to stay at home finds herself constantly under attack for that choice and having to justify it. Fantastic idea and I look forward to the series.

  • Oh my! I have not been to your blog in ages… Shame on me! Anyways, its so lovely as usual <3 Those heels are perfect!

  • years ago i could not imagine the homemaker life, but recently i have been intrigued by it. by the freedoms and the restraints, by the details and stereotypes. i'm very excited to read more :)

  • Ashley says:

    This sounds like a FANTASTIC series. One I certainly relate to. I don't work from home, but I don't have the 'career' that I always thought I would. Of course, I love the job I have, and I love my fiance, but looking after a household in the way my mother does is not something that comes naturally to me. It's something I'm learning. I'm looking forward to reading about your own journey with this.

  • Giovanna says:

    this is an awesome idea. i suck at cooking and cleaning, so i will find all of your adventures helpful and hilarious.

  • shawni marie says:

    Diana, I am so excited to see where these posts go. I think it's really amazing that you will be sharing sucha personal look into your life. I still to this day haven't been in a serious serious relationship. I have never lived with a boyfriend, been given a key, or even had our parents meet. My best friend is always telling me that you want what you can't have. and that I should be appreciative of where I am right now, and not worry about the future. I think you're amazing and I am very excited to hear about your homemaker days….

  • definitely be checking these posts!! I think it applies to anyone overwhelmed ya know. And especially with housework – because it NEVER ends!!

  • I loved your blog post. I was married once and my ex and I had a unique relationship. He did the cooking and I did the home repairs. He was hopeless with a hammer and I am, while not hopeless in the kitchen, totally uninterested in the process of food prep.Even now, I have a boyfriend who cooks for me and even cleans up afterwards. I am always in his debt for this ;-) Keep writing, I love your style.

  • Lori says:

    Love your etsy store! I love postcards!

  • Emma says:

    I'm loving this!!

  • This is going to be an awesome series.While i'm not a wife… Or even a woman for that matter, I do have issues with managing household chores and living alone my place starts to resemble a rubbish tip.I will be looking forward to more posts on this.

  • andrea says:

    This is a really great idea Diana. I look forward to reading more :)

  • whatnomints says:

    I totally understand where you are coming from. Granted, I'm not married but I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now and we currently live together so it's very similar to a marriage situation.I don't envy the work that "housewives" have to do one bit. I never grew up with the anticipation of being a Suzie Homemaker, but sometimes I feel as though I have to fill her shoes despite working a "regular job" full time (ie. Come home from working an 8 hour day and THEN have to do clean-up, dinner, scrubbing, organizing …). Recently my boyfriend has really been helping me out in the chore department and I truly can't thank him enough!

  • Randi says:

    I think I'm going to love this series. :) Also LOVING the tattoos! Beautiful.

  • I am excited to see more of this series. I find you, Your photo's and Your blog to be quite inspiring. I know how it feels to try different ways to time manage work (In my case continuing college), taking care of the home and Husband. It's an interesting adventure.

  • drollgirl says:

    you are such a unique bird! can't wait to read more.i know how to cook and clean, but i can't always be bothered with all of the domestic crap we are supposed to do. i can't really afford to pay anyone else to do such things, so you can imagine what happens at my house! lol

  • there's a pretty good possibility that this is where i'll be, later on in my life. like you, right now, i don't have any plans to be a wife and esp. not a housewife, but somehow, i have a sneaky feeling it's in the cards for me. so while i cannot relate at the moment, i am BEYOND excited to read all about your unconventional housewife adventures. you're such an inspiration diana, really. <3

  • Rebecca says:

    Oh, I know the feeling!! :) It's exactly why I had to start working again: being a housewife is amazing in its own way, but it's also very… difficult. You have big expectations for yourself, and when you don't live up to them, it can be depressing. I remember days where my only goal was to do the dishes before Robert got home, so he wouldn't think I'd been a slacker all day. And days where I *was* a slacker all day and felt incredibly guilty. But you don't have to be Martha Stuart! You're Diana! You're incredibly talented and you share so many good things with us, your readers. :) As long as your house is livable and you're content with life, it's good enough. But I can't wait to see the rest of this series!

  • sophi says:

    Omg! I hear you Diana… I'm lucky that my partner in crime (husband) understands my life style since was and still is the same. Although sometimes we are slackes in the cleaning process we never get let more than 2 days without cleaning, and don<t even get me started with the cooking learning I only knew how to make breakfast and cocktails (LOL) my youtube is full of recipes videos *__*

  • Oh, this is great! I know a bit what you mean. Though I wouldn't say my domestic skills warrant the label "housewife," I found myself moving to foreign countries for my boyfriend's job many times, and being at home by myself all day. It's strange. I loved and appreciated it on many levels, but now that I'm at school again, looking for a job and well, out of that lifestyle, I feel rather more myself. But tired and grumpy!

  • midwest says:

    My deal is that I'm really good at all things domesticated and crafty, but I refused for the longest time to do any of them for any men I was dating. I felt it was demeaning and unnecessary. Now I've been with the love of my life for awhile and I want to do all those things for him, it's weird. Midwest Darling

  • i'm really looking forward to this series diana! there are points that you make that i can definitely relate to and then there are others that i cannot. either way, i look forward to getting to know you a little more through this series, plus, it sounds like it'll be a fun read!

  • silvia says:

    I feel exactly the same way. I quit my job (a senior international position at an internet company) last year to take care of my baby and since then I am stuck at home. I still work (I run my own marketing business), but I don't make as much and 100% goes to pay tax and diapers…I feel bad for having my husband pay for everything and have switched from buying makeup from mac to buying $3 foundation…I don't think I'm made for having someone take care of me (economically speaking… in my mind I feel like I'm borrowing someone's money and will have to pay back some day!). I'm not used to this lifestyle yet. I guess it's a matter of readjusting – even though I'm not sure I'll be able to readjust ever…

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