Elijah was sitting, minding his own business, when a mysterious light suddenly surrounded him. His position in its centre prevented him from noticing but the shape of the light seemed to suggest that they were looking just for him.
Somehow he found himself on what appeared to be a rather metallic but pretty alien planet.
Unfortunately, as soon as he began to relax and enjoy the twinkling lights, he was sucked into a giant pipe. He was wooshed through the darkness for a terrifyingly long time, but eventually he was spat out.
With a mixture of apprehension and relief he looked around himself, at some kind of alien workshop.
At that moment one of the aliens snatched him up and began experimenting on him.
hung him from chains,
and squashed him in a vice below a blade that looked very, very sharp to Elijah. Luckily though the alien seemed to be testing how easy he was to scare, rather than whether he could be sawed in half.
This ‘fear’ testing, for that was all Elijah could think it could be, continued.
He was squashed between rollers until he screamed,
and spun on a wheel until he felt dizzy.
But he longed to be back on the wheel when it finally spun so fast that he flew through the air and was caught by some rather playful dead aliens.
The masked but living alien seemed satisfied with the experiments, although their purpose remained obscure to Elijah, and convinced the dead aliens to give up their new found plaything.
Elijah suddenly found himself dumped back on earth, peering up at the green glow of the spaceship as it rapidly receded.
Unsure of his exact location and rather shaken, he tried to call for help, but nobody answered the phone.
So he had to rely on his own resources,
he rode a motorbike
and a helpful but not very chatty alpaca,
a broomstick
and eventually arrived at the pub. Where he tried to relax with a nice, quiet Guinness
and avoid any reminders of his terrifying ordeal.
I know some of you are just as silly as I am and to reassure myself that this is indeed the case I’m having a contest. Now that the Elijah pattern is up I’m looking forward to seeing them appear all over the world, and I want to see what adventures all of these fresh new Elijah’s have. All that you have to do is make your own Elijah (breaking into my flat and stealing mine will automatically disqualify you), take a photo or photos* of him having an adventure and upload it to the Adventures of Elijah flickr group. You’re welcome to include the story of his adventures, but you don’t have to. You have until midnight GMT on November the 30th to upload your entries after which I will set up a poll so that everyone can vote for their favourite Elijah adventures. The winner will get fame, glory and a proper prize – a box of goodies from me.
*You can enter as many photos as you like, but they will be counted as a single entry and must all tie together as part of a single adventure.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Oooh oooh oooh I want to do this contest!!!
Poor Elijah! That photo of him hanging from the chains is really very sad-looking.
Highly entertaining stuff – I’m guessing you may have had just a little fun putting it together…
Good thing I already have some yarn on the way!
Booooo I want to play, but there’s no way I could knit an Elijah by the 30th! Now, November 30th NEXT year… :P xxx
How scary for poor Elijah! I would love to play, I would, except I know that I would never actually make an Elijah all my very own. 3D knitting and I just don’t get along . . . it doesn’t stop me wanting one of my own, though. He is so cute. Not to mention brave and resourceful!
That is one tough elephant. I think all toys should probably go through this test of strength and character before being given to children!
Ooooh, poor Elijah! I hope he will have better times in the rest of his elephant life…
Unfortunately I cannot participate, although I would like to, but I am quite busy in knitting christmas presents this time! :-)
Hilarious post!!! :) And I love the idea of the contest! Hope you get many entries!
Hilarious! Believe me every time I pass our circular saw today (in the house, don’t ask!) I shall think of Elijah!
Fabulous!
Squashed? Poor li’l guy!
I love this contest idea! Now I have ANOTHER thing to knit right away. Add it to the list! I think I will knit him bigger, as a first Christmas present for my 6 month old baby girl.
Oh no! Poor Elijah! fortunately, he is one tough little elephant. I bought the pattern, and if I can get him made, I’d love to play along!
This will be the perfect antidote to the stresses of running my own knitting contest!
I have just bought the pattern and am already planning more silliness.
x
finally read it! I look like such a nasty piece of work…
see you soon x
I’ve just started pink-red Elijah – contemplating what adventures to put him through :)
Ha, that’s brilliant. Mine’s off to Australia, so I’ll have to take some photos.